This will be a quick post. I am at work and have a stack of paperwork, emails and messages to return. It seems that when I'm here I am more efficient then I think- when I'm not it is a big pile of administration, my heartrate always is super high the day back after a few days off of work- the red light flashing on my phone indicating messages is a big awful jolt of reality. I prefer my bubble on the ski trails!
That all said, I'm still at work, rambling and jittery from coffee- not a great state to be in if efficiency is the name of the game.
So I will write more later, but the good news is that I finally found out what it feels like to win. I always new it was supposed to be amazing, but very few things compare to skiing into first on your home course in front of your mom, the coaches who taught you to ski, coaches who just want you to perform to your potential that they always saw, teammates who pushed you so hard in the summer that limits are no longer part of your volcabulary and then at last being the one to throw your hands in the air at the finish line.
I won the National Championships aggregate this week after two golds, a silver and a 7th place.
Some may say they were tired from travel, or that they were sick or didn't have the best preparation for Nationals or that its a joke. I definetly let those comments take away from my wins. However nothing can really compare to getting high fives from friends, tearful hugs from your mom, a hug from your coach, bombarded by congrats from the coaches who taught you ski (along with the cookies that were so coveted on the bus to and from training in highschool), wax techs who worked so hard and dealt with my aloofness (to say the least) but were so happy to see good results, younger athletes who look up to you, hugs from far away friends via friends at the site, emails and cheers from people you didn't know, but now are a part of your network of support, grandparents who just are so happy to hear a giddy voice on the other end of the phone, the hugs from those who have seen you so crushed from "not making it" to witnessing the polar opposite and most of all, for once I didn't have a doubt that I was the fastest on that day!
I still don't know what I did differently. I think I was just happy to race and figured out how to manage my nerves- I'm not saying I wasn't nervous because I almost puked before every start, but I realized that the nerves meant I was ready. I didn't give energy away to others and above all I demanded more of myself, I was just so done with being dissapointed!
So yeah, pretty amazing week.
I should get back to work...
next up: Sharkfest and the Scandinavian Tour...still training, but today I think I will just go hang out in a hot tub with a stella!
ciao!
xob
